It’s 41 degrees today. As a Melbourne girl, I’m not unused to this. We endure such scorchers every summer. I try not to be a complete ‘ anti-heatist’ so I like to remind (con?) myself about some of the sunnier (yep, I meant that pun!) aspects of obscenely hot days.
- There’s a sense of solidarity in seeing people out and about early in the morning – walking dogs, watering gardens, playing with their kids at the playground, the postman out delivering mail – before heading indoors to quarantine themselves against the heat. It’s like ‘we can beat this heat thing if we’re all just a little bit proactive!’
- No need to justify lying on the couch with a cool drink, book in hand, or movie on the telly
- Watermelon and icy poles must be consumed frequently
- A salad for dinner is completely acceptable
But for every ‘yay’ there is a ‘boo!!!’ that seeps into my consciousness.
- It is not right that the mere act of sitting should be a sweat inducing activity. There’s something wrong when your body says ‘Okay, being stationary is too much. We need to cool ourselves down.’
- Irritating news reports that people are ‘fleeing the heat’ by heading to the beach. How is that ‘fleeing’? They are flocking TO THE HEAT to sit under the scorching sun! WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS??? I know there is water but the sun is still burning into your skin and you are only kidding yourself that you are not sweating because the beads are camouflaged by sea water. Heading to the movies to sit in an air conditioned cinema is ‘fleeing the heat’, not heading outdoors. Am I right?
- Disingenous weather forecasts. ‘Fine and 41’ is not an accurate forecast. I want truth in forecasting ‘F****** hot and 41’. Who’s with me on that one?
- To people who say ‘I love the heat!’, I just say WHY??? Sitting in my own liquid emissions and searing my skin with UV rays just ain’t my cup of tea. If you want heat, pop on a jumper, grab a blanket and crank up the heater.
Do you have extreme heat where you live? Lover or fighter? Am I being too harsh? Reform me!